World Domination From a Hot-Pink Banana Seat: Christmas in 1985
My last column for 2008 will run in tomorrow’s Oregonian, but if you don’t get the paper you can check it out online. In it, I begin my quest for world domination, inspired by a bike-accessory I received for Christmas. (It was the motorcylce noismaker that you mounted on the handlebars… did anyone else have one of those?)
I tear into a shiny metallic package from Santa Claus to reveal a long-coveted toy: a motorcycle noise-maker for my bicycle.
The harder you pull back on the toy throttle, the louder it roars. There on that bike, in the murky dampness of our garage, I realize that I am going to take over the world.
There’s only one problem — these blasted training wheels.