The Mother of All Sports Bras
When it comes to sports bras, I’m partial. Not fancy, but partial. You may think that it’s not important for us microscopically endowed ladies but I’m here to tell you – it is.
For years and years and years my favorite sports bras were two plain black ones that I got from Fred Meyer as a sophomore in high school. You heard me right – I’m still wearing sports bras that I bought in high school. Sweetheart, the boobs, they do not grow. Everything else grows, but not the boobs.
I digress. These sports bras – they were indestructible! I mean, they still are. They’re amazing!
Of course, when Sal infected my brain with this bizarre love of technical clothing, I had to start branching out. Soon I was buying a lot of stuff from Adidas because, as the kids in the street say, they’re shit is tight.
My second favorite sports bra was therefore a black Adidas bra which featured full belly coverage. O how I love this sports bra, let me count the ways.
So between my favorite three bras, I figured I had pretty much everything I could ever possibly need. I mean, these things were cherry! How could you top them?
Then my little yoga friend, who shall remain nameless, taunted me one day as we left yoga together. I was wearing my typical yoga outfit of running knickers, my favorite sports bra, and a wife beater. (Hey, I like to keep it simple.)
"You should try Lululemon." he said, "All the cool yoga kids are doing it."
You may already know this, but Lululemon is wanna-be feel-good hippy clothing that no hippy could ever afford. This is yoga fashion snobbery at its best. "$50 sports bras!" I scoffed. Never!
And then my Little Yoga Friend gave me a $100 gift certificate to Lululemon for my 30th birthday (thanks) and a few months later, after building up some courage, I entered the Lululemon kingdom to see what riches were there.
My god, people!
The quality! The design! The function!
I wanted to hate it. I wanted to walk out, call him up, tell him what I’d purchased and say nonchalantly, "Yeah, it was great." in that tone that really meant, "It was just ok you pompous, snotty yoga jerk."
But I couldn’t. Because I am here to tell you that Lululemon provided me with my new favorite sports bra. To be fair, it’s classified as a "tank". The torso is long! Truly long! It covers my belly and even leaves enough fabric so that I can scrunch it up a little, which makes my little belly much less self-conscious.
The shelf-bra inside is freaking brilliant – made of super sturdy, super comfortable mesh nylon. The fit is immaculate. It doesn’t pinch, it doesn’t slide, and it makes your shoulders look all cut and dreamy.
I want 20 of them.
Part of the reason that I was gunshy about Lululemon is that I think Lucy (a similar type of store) is wildly over-rated. I’m not over the moon about their design, I’m luke warm on their quality, and I just don’t think they’re doing anything super revolutionary.
I’m here to say that Lululemon blows Lucy straight out of the water. No comparison. None.
So, if you’re ready to spend $50 on the most ass-kicking tank you’ve every owned, you should check them out. They still don’t have eCommerce (hellllooooo, Lululemon, get a clue!) but you can order the phone if they don’t have a store in your area. I went with the Power V Tank, but they’ve got styles to suit all the ladies (and all the rack sizes possible).
I loved the tank so much that I bought a pair of capris and a jacket too – I’ll tell you about those later :)
In the meantime, if you’re not ready to spend $50 on a stupid tank, Champion is offering free shipping on every order and I bet you can get one of those classic little numbers like the one I’ve had since high school for about half the price. :)