Maybe the best eBay posting ever
My friend Matt O’Rourke just brought this to my attention: an eBay auction for an entire career’s worth of high-end cyclocross gear posted by a burned out “pro” who is dodging Nats because of a self-described inability to ride in snow.
It’s pretty choice.
A few gems:
“Now remember you get 5-6 sets of tubulars glued up by a complete Belgian ninja glue master. THEY will not roll. 3 sets of clinchers and 20 clincher tires. I have the old vintage GREEN Michelin’s, I have studded (you will want to try these), fat 29r’s, and every other tire you can imagine. I have searched the globe for a tire that can allow me to corner. Obviously I have not found the correct tire or I would be coming to Bend.“
“6 kits for all of your pre-riding. They all match and a few are retro. So if you choose to warm up before the single cog race you will you blend in. All kits have matching gloves, socks, hats, and vests. 99% of cycling is looking cool, and you are going to look like a rock star. “
“I am throwing in my UCI license that has 8 coveted UCI points on it. Why earn the points when you can buy them. I have a cool Wool jersey you can wear after the race so you blend in perfectly with the screaming crowd. You don’t have to scream too loud because I am including my cow-bell also. Not only do I want you to look like a bad ass racer, I want you also to be equipped to be the SUPER FAN. I can hardly ring the bell now without tears. I am passing the torch. Cross is dead to me.”
For Chrissake, go read the whole thing while I write my race report for today, wouldja?
Late Breaking News: I’m in touch with the salesman in question. It appears to be Sam Krieg of Pocatello, Idaho. And… it also appears that it’s not a joke! Who’s going to be the first bidder? I’m tempted by the tire selection alone. ;)