“Hey, What Bike are You Wearing Tonight?”
I’ve turned a corner.
I really am becoming one of them. A bike person. A weird bike nerd. This is how I know.
I have bike girlfriends now. They are girlfriends I love and know off of the bike as well, but we either met on a bike, or we talk about bikes 90% of the time… or both.
We plan bike dates and invite each other out to group cycling events. We debate about which energy products taste better. "Oh my goddddddd, the Black Cherry Shot Blox are to-die-for . Have you tried them yet?!"
Sometimes, when we are not sure what is appropriate, we text each other beforehand: "Hey, what bike are you riding tonight?"
And then we go on to debate what might be best. "I’m throwing slicks on my ‘cross frame." or "I can’t decide between the Pinarello or the LeMond." or "What is everybody else riding?"
We have bike tailors who fit our expensive bikes to our weird bodies (Ok, maybe I’m the only one with a weird body. My bike tailor tells me I’m off-center. He’s never seen anything quite like it. More on that after Bike Fitting Part Two tomorrow at 10:00am).
We send each other virtual cycling Christmas cards, like this one from Specialized. (Tchaikovsky’s "The Nutcracker Suite" performed entirely on bicycle parts) and links to expensive cycling apparel like Rapha. We could care less if you got the latest Hermes bag that has been back-ordered since before it was designed, but if you roll up to a ride in Rapha leggings we are all thinking, "You bitch."
I have been assimilated. For better or worse, I am a full-on Cycling Whore. My fate is sealed. My posse rolls complete. I succumb.